Epiphany

e·piph·a·ny

   [ih-pif-uh-nee]  Show IPA

noun, plural -nies.

1.

a sudden, intuitive perception of or insight into the reality or essential meaning of something, usually initiated by some simple, homely, or commonplace occurrence or experience.

Amidst the frustration of editing, row after row of pictures on my computer, of seeing the same layer masks, the same poses, I began to wonder what was stilling my creativity. What lid was capping my imagination. First, I dug into films and looked at other photographers to draw inspiration from them, but though ideas flickered up in the dark, they did not light the room. 

In my writing, I did not fear strangeness or risk, and washed my hands in a running tap of ideas. I wondered how to incorporate that type of creativity into my photography and spent this morning and early afternoon reading over my writing from the last few months, trying to trace back to my original inspiration. 

Somewhere in the early afternoon, I began to perceive each poem, each writing in a visual way and had an "epiphany" of sorts. Each image I had in my head, as I read, burned brighter than the ideas that I had been formulating for days, from a blank scene, though I had more tangible information to work with in those cases. 

I called Alexa, the model I'm working with on Sunday, and asked her to call me as soon as she got out of class, to fill her in on the direction the shoot was taking. Now, because the amount of potential inspiration was not overwhelming and the idea, and focus, and emotion I gathered for the shoot originated with my own writing, I felt as though I could take more control as a creative director and stylist.

I also got in touch with Mason to reschedule, because I formulated another idea from a separate piece of writing. All in all, I am very excited about the direction this project has taken and what it means for my productivity as a photographer and a writer.